


Valediction

by InsaneRedDragon



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Established Friendship, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 17:42:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11257746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneRedDragon/pseuds/InsaneRedDragon
Summary: Harry stopped in front of him, an arm's length away. A hint of a smile crossed his features. “Merlin. Please don’t tell me there is another mission requiring my attention. I was so looking forward to a shower and bed.”Merlin shook his head, and closed the distance between them. Harry’s eyes grew big as he froze to the spot. “No, Harry. I simply wanted to welcome you back home.” Merlin brought his hand to the side of Harry’s face for just a moment before leaning in to kiss him.





	Valediction

The crisp cardstock hung loosely from one hand, the fingers of the other rubbing absently across the bottom. Merlin’s gaze was somewhere in the middle distance as he wondered how he’d missed it for so long.

Today’s note hadn’t seemed different, at first, from any of the hundreds of others Harry had left him over the course of their friendship. This one had been next to a plate of Merlin’s favourite biscuits sitting on his desk. Tradition had it that Harry would leave Merlin something edible before heading out on a mission. (“God knows you won’t eat properly again until I return,” Harry had said fondly when Merlin had asked after the fourth time he’d done it.)

The food wasn’t always accompanied by a note. But when it was, it might contain reminders of engagements they were to have upon Harry’s return; to the theatre, or a visit to the dog park when their mutts had still been alive, or a drink at their preferred pub. Sometimes it was a ridiculous anecdote that he knew would have Merlin chuckling, a smirk lingering on his face and in his voice for the rest of the day.

So when he’d arrived in his office, distracted by the paperwork waiting for him from Lamorak’s literal trainwreck of a mission from the night previous, he’d taken several of the biscuits to dunk in his tea and then picked up the note without giving it much thought.

Perhaps he should have noticed the use of his given name on the envelope, but it didn’t register as he sliced it open. Inside, written in Harry’s most formal copperplate, was a simple yet entirely revealing note.

_ Would you do me the honor of joining me for dinner at the conclusion of my mission? There are things that I believe it is time we discussed. Yours, Harry _

It had taken Merlin a moment to process the words, his eyes drifting back and forth over the letters. Then he saw it. The spots of ink that didn’t belong around the closing. It was the telltale sign of hesitation from a fountain pen, and Harry never hesitated.  _ Yours _ wasn’t the word Harry had wanted to write, and suddenly Merlin had a very good idea of what that word was.

Now he sat, lost in thoughts of nearly two decades of friendship, wondering how he could have possibly missed that his best friend was in love with him. Or, he realized, that he loved him back.

Slowly, a smile crept its way onto his face and stayed there. He picked up another biscuit and dunked it into his lukewarm tea. Perhaps, he thought, it was high time he started a tradition of his own upon Harry’s return. A welcome home kiss seemed like a good place to start.

\--

He had thought of a hundred ways things might go when Harry returned, but they all slipped from his mind when he saw Harry step off the jet. The ten weeks of constant surveillance, followed by an intense 18 hours of firefight, had left him looking exhausted. His hair had broken free of its gel, his tie was gone and the top buttons of his shirt were undone.

Merlin knew Harry’d have never allowed anyone to see him so disheveled if he hadn’t been dead on his feet. But when Harry’s eyes found Merlin standing at the end of the hangar, there was nothing but relief in his expression. His pace picked up as he strode across the tarmac. Merlin watched him with a newfound appreciation for Harry’s long legs and purposeful stride.

Harry stopped in front of him, an arm's length away. A hint of a smile crossed his features. “Merlin. Please don’t tell me there is another mission requiring my attention. I was so looking forward to a shower and bed.”

Merlin shook his head, and closed the distance between them. Harry’s eyes grew big as he froze to the spot. “No, Harry. I simply wanted to welcome you back home.” Merlin brought his hand to the side of Harry’s face for just a moment before leaning in to kiss him. 

It was a chaste thing, Harry perhaps too stunned to do much more than let Merlin press their lips together. When Merlin felt Harry sigh against him, he pulled away, just slightly, to press their foreheads together.

“I would love to join you for dinner and a conversation. But first, let’s get you to your room to clean up and sleep.”

Harry looked at him like he couldn’t believe this was truly happening, like maybe this was just a dream born from his post-mission exhaustion. “Will you walk with me?”

Merlin took Harry’s hand in his. “Try and stop me.”

\--

Merlin walked him to his room in HQ and saw to it that he made it past the bed and into the ensuite without collapsing from exhaustion. While he listened to the sounds of Harry getting ready for a shower, Merlin ensured the room was ready for Harry to sleep.

He pulled back the covers on the bed and turned on the bedside lamp. From the bureau he pulled a pair of soft sleep pants and a grey t-shirt to lay on top of the duvet. They weren’t Harry’s preferred sleep clothes, but they sufficed for when Harry was too exhausted to return to the Mews after a mission.

As he set about starting a fire, Merlin heard Harry turn on the water for the shower. A moment later he froze in place, arm outstretched to add another log to the fireplace. All Merlin could focus on was Harry’s low, satisfied groan emanating from behind the closed door.  _ It’s the hot water _ , Merlin thought, as he tried to focus on finishing the fire and not whether that’d be the sound that Harry might make with Merlin’s hands in his hair, pulling him in for a searing kiss.

Once the fire was roaring steadily, Merlin took a quick glance around the room. Certain that Harry would be able to simply crawl in bed and sleep, he crossed to the bathroom. He rapped his knuckles twice on the door and waited until he heard Harry’s muffled  _ yes _ in response.

“I’ve laid out some sleep clothes on the bed,” he called through the door. “Get some sleep, Harry. We’ll talk soon.” He pressed his palm flat against the door as he heard Harry call out his name, but he turned swiftly and left the room before he could hear anything else. 

If he stayed he’d start kissing Harry again, and he didn’t think he’d be able to stop. Merlin was determined to prevent any more lapses in communication. They needed to have this conversation first, and Merlin could wait a few more hours to have it when Harry had had a chance to sleep.

\--

It ended up being more than a few hours, but eventually Harry invited him to one of their favourite restaurants, The Five Fields, three days after his return to London. 

They hadn’t really seen each other since that first evening. Their schedules didn’t always line up, and while Harry was playing catch up on sleep and attending debriefs, Merlin was guiding two other agents through their missions and trying to talk Andrew down from making the crazy prototype he had proposed. 

(Andrew kept coming around to tell him that a paralytic dispersed via landmine was a good idea. Between the missions he was monitoring, Merlin kept telling the man that it was far too impractical and to consider another means of dispersal, but didn’t have the time to actually check in on Andrew’s work.)

So it was a relief when their schedules finally synched and Harry asked him to dinner. He came into Merlin’s office and asked, quiet but direct. Just a place and time, and once Merlin agreed, he gave him a small but sincere smile and touched his shoulder before disappearing out of the office again.

Merlin had been tense since Harry's return. He knew he shouldn't be. Even if he was completely wrong about Harry's intentions, and he knew that he wasn’t, Harry would never hold it over him. The man held too much respect for Merlin even in the face of what Merlin considered his ‘social inadequacies’. Their friendship was built of stronger stuff. Even still, Merlin was ready to finally sit down and talk things out with the man.

He’d planned to leave HQ a couple of hours early; enough time to get to his rarely used flat and change into one of his suits before heading to the restaurant. Instead, he got waylaid in the lab. Andrew had apparently decided to ignore Merlin’s orders and built a landmine anyway. Then he left it lying around, armed, and one of the other techs had picked it up. Thankfully it was quickly realized, but Merlin didn’t trust anyone other than himself to fix things.

Twenty minutes before their reservation, Merlin finally finished disarming the device and he knew he didn’t have time to get home and change. The tech who had grabbed the device was sent home for the night and Andrew was put on leave until they could have a chat about lab safety. With one last look around, making sure the remaining techs could finish dismantling the device, Merlin hurried out of the lab.

Like Harry, Merlin had his own room at HQ. Unlike Harry, his were actually more of a flat than a simple bedroom. He’d conceded early in his appointment as quartermaster that his leaving the grounds was likely to become a rare occurrence, and as such got Arthur to set him up in a more permanent space in the mansion.

He strode into the space, quickly passing through the sitting room and into the bedroom to throw open the wardrobe doors. The majority of his clothes were here, but he rarely wore a suit anymore, and the two he did own were sitting in the closet in his flat after the holiday debacle from last year.

With only a moment of hesitation, Merlin stripped off his shirts and tie, keeping his trousers, and threw on a black button up instead. He skipped the tie, grabbed a jacket from the back of the door, and switched to a pair of leather boots. He knew it was almost too casual to wear to The Five Fields, their dress code leaving little leeway for anything other than a suit, but he didn’t have time to fret over it. It left a sour taste in his mouth to not only be late, but to keep Harry waiting any longer.

Once back in the hall, Merlin headed directly to the hangar. It was a misappropriation of resources to use a Kingsman vehicle outside of a mission without authorization from Arthur, but it would be an even bigger misuse if he was to ask a Kingsman cab to break all the traffic laws he was about to himself. He’d deal with Arthur’s ire tomorrow.

He stopped briefly beside the Triumph, hand resting on the seat, but quickly rejected it. He’d be more mobile, able to weave through traffic, but he didn’t have the time to deal with his leathers. Instead he jogged over to the ‘72 Datsun, finding the keys tucked into the console. As he shut the door, Merlin paused to take a deep breath before pinging Harry over his glasses.

“Niall, don’t tell me that an emergency has come up at work.” The clink of cutlery against china and the murmurs of other people filtered in along with Harry’s soft voice.

Merlin grunted. “Aye, but I’ve dealt with it. Unfortunately, I’m only leaving the mansion now.” He glanced at the clock. 20:13.  _ Shite _ . “Would you be willing to wait for me?” His voice carried a note of apprehension, as though he was unsure of the answer.

Harry let out a huff, and Merlin could hear the smirk in his voice. “Try and stop me.” Merlin let out a wry laugh as Harry continued. “See you soon.”

Merlin disconnected and met his own eyes in the rearview.  _ Well then, best not keep the man waiting _ , he thought as he shifted the car into drive.

\--

Harry had indeed still been waiting when he arrived, and his luck continued to hold when he recognized the hostess. A friendly smile and a mention of the 2008 bottle of Soldera had the staff overlooking his attire and leading him to Harry’s table.

Harry stood when he caught sight of Merlin approaching. As he reached the table, he watched as Harry took in his clothing. Harry’s eyes hung at the exposed skin at his throat, and Merlin’s gaze trained on his lips as his tongue darted out and slowly drew his lip between his teeth.

With what appeared to be visible effort, Harry dragged his gaze from Merlin’s neck and gave a polite nod to the hostess. Merlin cleared his throat as she responded with a knowing smirk and then stepped back towards the front of the restaurant. Silently, the two of them sat down at their table.

Harry was the first to speak, a put upon expression on his face. “As I’ve been reminded on more occasions than I can recall, it’s unbecoming of a gentleman to keep others waiting.”

Harry’s amused tone kept Merlin from feeling truly guilty. Merlin  _ had  _ gotten in a vast number quips at Harry’s expense over the years. But this wasn’t how he’d hoped to start their evening. With a soft look, and only a moment's hesitation, he placed his hand over Harry’s on the table in apology.

“Andrew took it upon himself to work up a prototype against my recommendation, and then leave it armed around the lab.” Harry’s eyes went wide, but before he could say anything Merlin squeezed his hand. “We caught it before anyone was hurt, and I wouldn’t have left if I didn’t think the techs could handle the clean up.”

Harry looked mollified, but he turned his hand over so their palms were touching and he was able to squeeze back.

“We could have rescheduled.”

Merlin shook his head. “Nae, we couldn’t. I think we’ve waited long enough for this evening. Besides, Morgana would have my head if I didn’t ‘fix whatever is causing me to be so tense’ as soon as possible.”

The smile that crossed Harry’s face was soft, and Merlin was sure that he’d never before seen Harry with the faint blush that dusted his cheeks. It was so unlike Harry’s usual self assuredness, and he felt the warmth of it deep in his chest.

With a final squeeze and a smile of his own, Merlin let go of Harry’s hand and picked up the menu.

Dinner passed faster than Merlin had expected. Merlin ordered the wine, Harry the food, both trusting the other’s choices. While they waited, they talked -- the non-sensitive parts of Harry’s mission Rome; the exhibit Harry hoped to visit at the British Museum; Merlin’s excitement over the new car that was coming in later in the week. 

It was comfortable, like one of the hundreds of dinners they’d had like this in the past. Only this time, Merlin allowed himself a familiarity with Harry he hadn’t considered before. 

His eyes lingered on Harry’s face and decided he wanted to see more of his dimples, and the fine lines around his eyes when he grinned. The streaks of grey at his temples and the way his ungelled hair swept over his forehead made his fingers ache to reach out and touch.

As they talked and ate, Merlin’s feet bumped against Harry’s and their calves pressed side by side. Occasionally Merlin would reach out and let his fingers brush against Harry’s on the table. It was surprisingly easy, and Merlin was pleased about every smile his touches brought to Harry’s face.

Finally, the waiter brought their after dinner drinks and cleared their plates, and they were left on their own. They fell into a comfortable silence, and even the sounds of the remaining dinners seemed muffled.

Merlin broke the silence first, staring at his scotch before looking up at Harry.

“So I think it’s time we talk about this.” His voice was soft, and he couldn’t help the note of uncertainty that crept in. Even after their kiss, the shared looks and touches, he still feared that he’d misjudged exactly what this was. 

Harry nodded and swallowed hard. “You’re right, of course,” he said, sitting up in his seat. The casual air of before was swept away as Merlin watched Harry square his shoulders and adopt the confident demeanor that he used on every mission, even if his eyes betrayed his nerves.

“Before I was sent on that last mission, I decided that I needed to talk to you about my feelings and our friendship.

“You’ve been my friend for a very long time. I trust you with my life as par for the course, but I also trust you with parts of myself that I haven’t with anyone else. You should know that what started as comradery when we first met has changed into something much more.” Harry took a deep breath and held his gaze. “I’m in love with you.”

Merlin had been expecting the words, yet hearing them still made his heart stutter. It was a moment before he could do anything more than stare, relief and desire swirling in his blood.

“How long?” he asked finally, not quite ready to say the words back.

Harry squinted and dropped his eyes to his glass as he twirled it against the table.

“A little over a year now, since I first realized it, but in all likelihood much longer than that. You know how little I enjoy introspection.”

Merlin chuckled and watched the bob of Harry’s throat as he took a sip of his Armagnac.

“And why now, if you’d known for so long?”

Harry’s expression darkened as he set his glass back to the table.

“Lee.” Merlin’s brow furrowed at the name, and he pressed his leg against Harry’s under the table as he continued. “His death has affected me more than I thought it would. I still believe that I could have done more for his family.”

“You did everything you could, Harry. There was no way you could have convinced Arthur to authorize anything more that the medal.”

“Still, it wasn’t enough. I fucking missed it and it should have been me.”

Merlin’s blood ran cold at the thought. Even before the realization that his heart belonged to Harry, Merlin would have felt the loss more strongly than any other in the past. He didn’t dare think what Harry’s death now would cost him. 

“But it wasn’t me,” Harry continued, “and it’s that thought that made me decide that I needed to stop hiding from you.”

Merlin scoffed and nudged Harry’s foot under the table. “Since when have you felt compelled to hide anything from me? You’ve always seemed blithe when it comes to over sharing. I would have appreciated not knowing that you like to dance naked around your house when you’re pissed, at least at the time.”

It was a fond memory. The two of them, much younger, stumbling to Harry’s house in the wee hours of the morning. Merlin heading to the loo and Harry to the kitchen to scrounge up something to eat. Merlin walking back in only to find a naked and extremely drunk Harry dancing around to some awful pop song on the radio.

At the time, Harry had simply grinned and done some rather unfortunate motion with his hips. Merlin, in an attempt to avoid vomiting with how hard he was laughing, had turned right around and gone to pass out in the guest bed instead.

Now, Merlin flushed slightly at the memory of Harry naked. But the teasing words worked to lighten the mood, and Harry smirked. “I stand by my idiosyncrasies.”

“As you should,” Merlin said. “It  _ was  _ quite the show. Perhaps now, however, I can learn to appreciate it.”

“Why would you ever willingly subject yourself to that again?”

Merlin stared at Harry. They’d been friends for more years than Merlin had spent without him. He sometimes had a hard time remembering what life was like without Harry around, being a bloody show off on his missions or finding ways to have him rolling his eyes and ordering the man out of his office. But Merlin would take every one of Harry’s ridiculous personality traits and idiosyncrasies because it meant he also had Harry. 

He smiled and stood, his heart beating fast as he held out his hand. “Because it’s something the man I love is sure to do again, repeatedly, in my presence now that we are in a relationship.”

Harry’s eyes twinkled as he drained the rest of his glass and set it back to the table. When he reached out and took Merlin’s hand, Merlin felt like everything was right in the world.

“Darling,” Harry said, tugging Merlin’s hand and guiding him back to his chair, “we still need to settle the bill.”

Merlin couldn’t help his bark of laughter as he sat, bringing his free hand to lift his glasses and pinch the bridge of his nose. “So much for my dramatic exit.”

Harry’s laughter was full of warmth as he flagged down a waiter. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This](http://rankin.co.uk/media/Mark-Strong.jpg) is Merlin's outfit. And [this](http://imgur.com/Tdw3DoE) is the car he's driving.


End file.
